Author Topic: Joke for today--keep it clean.  (Read 37360 times)

Online crazyhorse

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Joke for today--keep it clean.
« on: January 07, 2016, 09:58:19 PM »
I hope to get this thread back up.

Q. What did the cat say after eating two robins lying in the sun?
 A. I just love baskin’ robins.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Online Monroe

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2016, 08:48:24 AM »
be careful what you asked for
Jewel & I have had a beautiful journey together

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2016, 09:43:55 PM »
Mr Monroe that is so true. ;D

Offline edward361

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2016, 04:36:23 AM »
lol good one monroe :) :)

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2016, 06:56:56 PM »
Two antennas met, fell in love, and got married.
The wedding was okay,


 but the reception was great. ;D

Online Maggie13

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2016, 06:15:07 AM »

Thanks for restarting this thread!

You just gave me my first chuckle for the day! and I will share these with my grand neice and nephew.
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Online Monroe

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2016, 06:46:12 AM »
If you are ever asked to spell Mississippi don't ask if they mean the river or the state
Jewel & I have had a beautiful journey together

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2016, 12:25:53 AM »

Thanks for restarting this thread!

You just gave me my first chuckle for the day! and I will share these with my grand neice and nephew.

Mrs Maggie , thank you.
We need a good laugh every now & then. ;D


Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #8 on: January 12, 2016, 11:10:21 PM »
A defendant was on trial for murder in Philadelphia.
 There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
 In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.
 "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch.
 "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
 He looked toward the courtroom door.
 The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly.
 A minute passed. Nothing happened.
 Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement.
 But you all looked on with anticipation.
 I, therefore, put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate.
 A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
 "But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door."
 Answered the jury foreman: "Oh, we did look.


 But your client didn’t."

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2016, 12:48:33 AM »
Must let tom pick onion. ;D


http://i.imgur.com/DcToLdG.jpg
« Last Edit: January 13, 2016, 01:12:03 AM by crazyhorse »

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2016, 01:23:12 AM »
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?



A: envelope ;D

Offline Chapman

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2016, 06:15:23 PM »
  There are old mushroom hunters and there are bold mushroom hunters, but there are no old, bold mushroom hunters.  ;)
 
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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2016, 08:03:04 PM »
I was gonna re write my Boudreaux joke but.....

Some on here hinted that Donald thought it was so funny he slapped the keyboard instead of his knee ~!~!~!

Weeeeel that's the way I took it anyway.  ;) 8) :P :-*
I'm a optimist. Pessimists think all girls are bad. The optimist hope he's right ~!~!

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Offline Vince6424

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2016, 08:54:24 PM »
I was gonna re write my Boudreaux joke but.....

Some on here hinted that Donald thought it was so funny he slapped the keyboard instead of his knee ~!~!~!

Weeeeel that's the way I took it anyway.  ;) 8) :P :-*
which one it that?
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Offline sirhc62

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #14 on: January 15, 2016, 01:41:52 PM »
Mother Teresa never told a lie even as a child, amazing. This is not meant as politics or anything of the such. Just an amazing lady.   ;D

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #15 on: January 15, 2016, 09:28:14 PM »
Mr Sir, ;D  Mr Sir   ;D

Online Monroe

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #16 on: January 17, 2016, 04:56:37 PM »
I like this
Jewel & I have had a beautiful journey together

Online crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2016, 10:59:42 PM »
Mr Monroe,  ;D  Mr Monroe   ;D

Offline Okie Bob

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #18 on: January 18, 2016, 04:50:25 AM »
Monroe, I LOVE that one!
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Online Double B

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #19 on: January 18, 2016, 08:14:05 AM »
A man and a woman get married. On their wedding night, the man takes his boxer shorts off, tosses them to the woman and tells her to put them on. She thinks the request is a little strange but goes ahead and puts them on. They fall to the floor so she pulls the up and again they fall to the floor. She tells him, " I can't wear these". He says, "you are right and as long as we are married, I'll wear the pants in this family".

She gently tosses her panties over to him and tells him to slip them and on. He tries but it is obvious he can't even begin to pull them up. The man tells her, " there is no way I can get into your panties". She says, " exactly, and it's not going to happen until you change your attitude".
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