Author Topic: Joke for today--keep it clean.  (Read 42791 times)

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #40 on: February 28, 2016, 03:20:55 PM »
Mrs Maggie, Thank you.

You are very welcome.

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #41 on: March 08, 2016, 01:57:23 AM »
Why do women always say they want a  man with a stable job ?

What is so glamorous about cleaning up after horses? ;D ;D

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #42 on: March 10, 2016, 12:16:14 AM »
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer.
 ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.
’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
 ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber.
 ‘That kid never
 ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?
’ The boy licked his cone and replied,

‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’


Offline woodchip gardener

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #43 on: March 11, 2016, 10:33:11 PM »
my little one told me a cute joke today....

what do you call a bear without teeth?

a gummy bear

lol
post something!  c'mon...you know ya wanna...  :)

Offline woodchip gardener

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #44 on: March 22, 2016, 10:07:37 AM »
found these on the web...garden jokes

Where do apples love to take a vacation?
Fuji.

What do you call a mushroom who buys everyone drinks and is the life of the party?
A fun-gi.

What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global Worming.

What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawn mower?
Shredded tweet.

Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a daisy?
A colli-flower.
post something!  c'mon...you know ya wanna...  :)

Offline cubman

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #45 on: March 22, 2016, 11:38:54 AM »
 :o
just because you can tell me the physical properties of your shoe laces doesn't mean you have the common sense to tie them...

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #46 on: March 23, 2016, 02:40:01 AM »
A teenage boy  had just passed his driving test and inquired of his  father
as to when  they could discuss his use of the car.

His father  said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades  up
from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut.
Then we'll  talk about the car."

The boy  thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer
and they agreed on it.

After about  six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades  up
and I've  observed that you have been studying your Bible, but  I'm
disappointed  you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said,  "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
noticed in my  studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John  the
Baptist had  long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong
evidence that  Jesus had long hair."

His father said----

"Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they  went?"

Offline Okie Bob

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #47 on: March 23, 2016, 06:28:09 AM »
Crazy, that was a good one!
I'm Sooner born and Sooner Bred and when I die I'll be Sooner dead!
PROUD CHICKASAW, NATIVE AMERICAN
25 acres of Oklahoma dirt JD 4420 with a bunch of attachments.

Offline woodchip gardener

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #48 on: March 23, 2016, 01:20:54 PM »
lol crazy...good one :)
post something!  c'mon...you know ya wanna...  :)

Offline crazyhorse

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Offline Jo-Ann

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #50 on: March 27, 2016, 10:28:47 AM »
I finally got a good one to send you all:

     A retired guy sits around the house all day so one day his wife says, “Joe, you could do something useful, like vacuum the house once a week”. The guy gives it a moment’s thought and says: “Sure why not. Where’s the vacuum?
     Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee. His wife says, “I didn't hear the vacuum running,  I thought you were going to do the vacuuming”?
     Exasperated, Joe answers,”The stupid thing is broken, it won't start. We need to buy a new one”.
     “Really”, she says, “show me - it worked fine the last time”.   So he did

https://videos.files.wordpress.com/Xblfe4qf/retired-vacum-cleaner_dvd.mp4

                    .

 
 
Jo-Ann
Gardening in New Orleans

Online Monroe

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #51 on: March 27, 2016, 11:47:52 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D some men are that dumb, he should know that the wife ran it out of gas & put it in the closet empty
Jewel & I have had a beautiful journey together

Online Maggie13

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #52 on: March 27, 2016, 03:19:43 PM »
Not a joke but I thought it was still funny.

21' X 48' High Tunnel
Knox, New York   zone 4B

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #53 on: March 27, 2016, 09:56:05 PM »
Mrs Jo-Ann   ;D   Mrs Jo-Ann   ;D



Mrs Maggie   ;D   Mrs Maggie    ;D

Offline gssixgun

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #54 on: March 28, 2016, 01:06:12 AM »
You know you laughed

Zone 5b
Kubota L3600DT, FEL, Middlebuster, BoxBlade, BackBlade, SnowBlower, BucketForks, PatsEasyHitch
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Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #55 on: March 28, 2016, 01:37:10 AM »
Got pulled over today..
Cop came up and said he just worked a long day and ended his shift.
.He said if I had a good reason for speeding that he'd let me go..

 I said Officer my wife left me 5 years ago for a cop,


and I thought you was bringing her back..

he said..


Have a good day Sir... ;D ;D

Offline woodchip gardener

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #56 on: March 30, 2016, 11:34:41 AM »
You Might be a Cajun If....

...you start an angel food cake with a roux.

...watching the "wild kingdom" inspires you to write a cookbook.

...you think the head of the united nations is Boudreaux/ Boudreax-Guillory.

...you think a lobster is a crawfish on steroids.

...you think Ground Hog Day and Boucherie day are the same holiday.

...you take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for the Tabasco.

...Fred's lounge in Mamou means more to you than the Grand Ole Opry.

...you pass up a trip abroad to go to the crawfish festival in Breaux Bridge.

...your children's favorite bedtime story begins "first you make a roux..."

...your description of a gourmet dinner includes the words "deep fat fried."

...your mama announces each morning, "well, I've got the rice cooking-what will we have for dinner?"

...you greet your long lost friend at the Lafayette international airport with "iiiiieeeeeee!"

...you sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says "don't eat the dead ones" and you know what he means.

...you don't know the real names of your friends, only their nicknames.

...you gave up Tabasco for lent.

...you know the difference between Zatarains, Zeringue, and Zydeco.

...your dog thinks the bed of your pickup is his kennel.

...any of your dessert recipes call for jalapenos.

...you consider Opelousas the capital of the state, and Lafayette the capital of the nation.

...you think the four seasons are: duck, rabbit, deer, squirrel.
post something!  c'mon...you know ya wanna...  :)

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #57 on: March 30, 2016, 11:59:53 PM »
Mrs Woodchip ;D     Mrs Woodchip   ;D

« Last Edit: April 01, 2016, 11:22:22 PM by crazyhorse »

Online bobcatgardener

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #58 on: April 01, 2016, 02:53:16 PM »
That was a good one Mrs. Wood chip!!

Online Monroe

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #59 on: April 01, 2016, 04:27:46 PM »
that was a good one "chipper"
Jewel & I have had a beautiful journey together