Author Topic: Joke for today--keep it clean.  (Read 36980 times)

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #460 on: September 07, 2017, 12:42:23 AM »
Q.  Why did the Golden Delicious go to jail?
A.  He was a rotten apple.

Q.  Why did the potatoes get a divorce?
A.  Because they couldn’t see eye to eye.

Q: How well is your garden going to grow?
A: Only thyme will tell

Q: Why did the gardener quit?
A: His celery wasn’t high enough

Q: Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
A: They were too corney.

Q: Why did the gardener leave the store without a  new shovel?
A: He did not have enough cabbage.


Q: Why did the tomato and the corn fall in love?
A: He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.


Q: What do you get when you mix a relative and a fruit?
A: A Granny Smith

Q: Why did the corn get sent to jail?
A: She was caught stalking the tomato.

Q: How come the horse would not go faster than a walk?
A: He Cant-a-loupe

Q: What’s the gardeners favorite court sport?
A: Squash

Q: Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
A: He had a really long Honeydew list.

Offline Ben

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #461 on: September 13, 2017, 02:32:43 PM »
TWO PRIESTS---Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, and etc.
The next morning they went to the beach, dressed in their “tourist” garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine, and the scenery when a “drop dead gorgeous” blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn’t help but stare and when she passed them, she smiled and said, “Good morning, Father” – “Good morning, Father,” nodding and addressing each of them individually, then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she recognize them as priests?

The next day they went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud, you could hear them before you even saw them and again settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine, etc. After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a string bikini this time, came walking toward them again. (They were glad they had sunglasses, because their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.)

Again, she approached them and greeted them individually: “Good morning Father,” . . . “Good morning Father,” and started to walk away. One of the priests couldn’t stand it and said. “Just a minute young lady. Yes, we are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did YOU know?”

“Oh Father, don’t you recognize me? I’m Sister Angela!”
Northwest La. zone 8b

Offline crazyhorse

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Re: Joke for today--keep it clean.
« Reply #462 on: September 14, 2017, 02:41:33 AM »
Mr Ben ;D  Mr Ben ;D