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Topics - Ben

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Happy Hour / Drinking and Driving on New Years Eve
« on: December 31, 2018, 02:54:18 PM »

I would like to share a personal experience with my friends at BG about drinking and driving. 
This might save you the cost and embarrassment of being arrested for DUI.
As you know, people have been known to have unexpected brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends on New Years Eve.
Well, one year, it happened to me.  I was out for the evening to a party and had more than several margaritas coupled with a bottle of rather nice red wine.  It was held at a great Mexican restaurant.  Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit. 
That's when I did something I've never done before...I took a taxi home.   
On the way home there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.  These roadblocks can be anywhere and I realized how lucky I was to have chosen to take a taxi!!!!
The real surprise to me was I had never driven a taxi before.

Be careful this New Years Eve and take a Taxi!!!


Happy Hour / Women are better estate planners than m
« on: December 21, 2018, 06:30:31 PM »
My buddy Tom was a single guy living at home with his father and working
in the family business.

He knew that he would inherit a fortune once his sickly father died.

Tom wanted two things:

• to learn how to invest his inheritance and,

• to find a wife to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a
few years, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."

Impressed, the woman obtained his business card.

Two weeks later,
she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at estate planning than men…

Happy Hour / Remember Slow Foods
« on: December 19, 2018, 09:53:21 AM »
Remember Slow Food?

'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,
I informed him.
'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at
Home,'' I explained. !

'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.

I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11.

It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 19 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers -- my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6 AM every morning.

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren

Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.

Ignition switches on the dashboard.

Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.

Real ice boxes.

Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.

Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.

Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :

Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with table side jukeboxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax (that was our hair product)
11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels... [if you were fortunate )
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15.S&H green stamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best parts of my life.

Happy Hour / Larry-- The Cable Guy
« on: December 05, 2018, 09:33:34 AM »
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in Our Country lately: Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida .. .. . Not me -- I concentrate on solutions for the problems -- it's a win-win situation.
* Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
* Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levees.
* Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me to solve today?
Think about this:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq … Why don't we just give them ours?
It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this --
you cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians, it creates a hostile work environment.

What do you Think-- Is this guy sharp as a tack or not?????


Happy Hour / Betche Didn't Know
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:17:02 AM »
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.
****************************** ****************************** ***************
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.
Oh go ahead .. I'll wait...
****************************** ****************************** ****************
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.
(So, watch your A__)
****************************** ****************************** ************
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
****************************** ****************************** **************
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age, or older.
****************************** ****************************** ****************
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
****************************** ****************************** *************
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
****************************** ****************************** ***************
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive
from each salad served in first-class.
****************************** ****************************** **************
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you?)
(That women are going in the 'right' direction...?)
****************************** ****************************** *********
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
****************************** ****************************** ***********
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
****************************** ****************************** ************ ****
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.
So did the first 'Marlboro Man'.
****************************** ****************************** ***************
Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
****************************** ****************************** **************
****************************** ****************************** *********
The ten most valuable brand names on earth:  Apple, Coca Cola, Google, IBM, Microsoft, GE, McDonalds, Samsung, Intel, and Toyota, 
in that order.
****************************** ****************************** **********
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...But, not downstairs.
(Why in the hell would you want to take a cow upstairs?)
****************************** ****************************** ************
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
****************************** ****************************** ************
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
(I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
****************************** *********************
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
****************************** ****************************** *******
Now go move your toothbrush!
And stop folding that damn paper!

Happy Hour / Origons of old sayings
« on: November 29, 2018, 08:03:19 AM »
'A SHOT OF WHISKEY'   - In the old west a .45 cartridge for a six-gun cost 12 cents, so did a glass of whiskey. If a cowhand was low on cash he would often give the bartender a cartridge in exchange for a drink. This became known as a "shot" of whiskey.
BUYING THE FARM -  This is synonymous with dying. During WW1 soldiers were given life insurance policies worth $5,000. This was about the price of an average farm so if you died you "bought the farm" for your survivors.
IRON CLAD CONTRACT -  This came about from the ironclad ships of the Civil War. It meant something so strong it could not be broken.
RIFF RAFF -  The Mississippi River was the main way of travelling from north to south. Riverboats carried passengers and freight but they were expensive so most people used rafts. Everything had the right of way over rafts which were considered cheap. The steering oar on the rafts was called a "riff" and this transposed into riff-raff, meaning low class.
COBWEB -  The Old English word for “spider" was "cob".
SHIP STATE ROOMS - Travelling by steamboat was considered the height of comfort. Passenger cabins on the boats were not numbered. Instead they were named after states. To this day cabins on ships are called staterooms.

SLEEP TIGHT-  Early beds were made with a wooden frame. Ropes were tied across the frame in a crisscross pattern. A straw mattress was then put on top of the ropes. Over time the ropes stretched, causing the bed to sag. The owner would then tighten the ropes to get a better night’s sleep.
SHOWBOAT -  These were floating theatres built on a barge that was pushed by a steamboat. These played small towns along the Mississippi River . Unlike the boat shown in the movie "Showboat" these did not have an engine. They were gaudy and attention grabbing which is why we say someone who is being the life of the party is “showboating".
OVER A BARREL -  In the days before CPR a drowning victim would be placed face down over a barrel and the barrel would be rolled back and forth in an effort to empty the lungs of water. It was rarely effective. If you are over a barrel you are in deep trouble.
BARGE IN -  Heavy freight was moved along the Mississippi in large barges pushed by steamboats. These were hard to control and would sometimes swing into piers or other boats. People would say they "barged in".
HOGWASH -  Steamboats carried both people and animals. Since pigs smelled so bad they would be washed before being put on board. The mud and other filth that was washed off was considered useless “hog wash".
CURFEW -  The word "curfew" comes from the French phrase "couvre-feu", which means "cover the fire". It was used to describe the time of blowing out all lamps and candles. It was later adopted into Middle English as “curfeu" which later became the modern "curfew". In the early American colonies homes had no real fireplaces so a fire was built in the centre of the room. In order to make sure a fire did not get out of control during the night it was required that, by an agreed upon time, all fires would be covered with a clay pot called-a “curfew".
BARRELS OF OIL -  When the first oil wells were drilled they had made no provision for storing the liquid so they used water barrels. That is why, to this day, we speak of barrels of oil rather than gallons.
HOT OFF THE PRESS - As the paper goes through the rotary printing press friction causes it to heat up.  Therefore, if you grab the paper right off the press it’s hot. The expression means to get immediate information.
There, don't you feel smarter now?

Happy Hour / Powerful Short Stories
« on: November 26, 2018, 08:12:20 AM »
Powerful stories, to be so short.
These twelve short stories are all very good stories and make us think twice about the daily happenings in our lives as we deal with others!!   
1. Today, I interviewed my grandmother for part of a research paper I'm     working on for my Psychology class.  When I asked her to define success in     her own words, she said;
"Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile.
----------------------------   -- --------------------   --
2.  Today, I asked my mentor - a very successful business man in his 70s     what his top 3 tips are for success.  He smiled and said;
"Read something no one else is reading, think something no one else is thinking, and do     something no one else is doing."
------------------------------ ------------------------
3.   Today, after my 72-hour shift at the fire station, a woman ran up to me     at the grocery store and gave me a hug.  When I tensed up, she realized I       didn't recognize her.   She let go with tears of joy in her eyes and the most     sincere smile and said;
"On 9-11-2001, you carried me out of the World Trade       Center."
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
4.  Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side       of the road holding him and crying.    And just before he died; he licked the tears off my face.
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
5.  Today at 7AM, I woke up feeling ill, but decided I needed the money, so I went into work.   At 3PM I got laid off. On my drive home I got a flat tire.    When I went into the trunk for the spare, it was flat too.
A man in     a BMW pulled over, gave me a ride, we chatted, and then he offered me a job.
I start tomorrow.
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
6.  Today, as my father, three brothers, and two sisters stood around my     mother's hospital bed, my mother uttered her last coherent words before she     died.   
She simply said, "I feel so loved right now.   We should have gotten together like this more often."
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
7. Today, I kissed my dad on the forehead as he passed away in a small     hospital bed.   About 5 seconds after he       passed,
I realized it was the first     time I had given him a kiss since I was a little boy.
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
8.  Today, in the cutest voice, my 8-year-old daughter asked me to start     recycling.   I chuckled and asked, "Why?" She replied, "So you can help me     save the planet." I chuckled again and asked, "And why do you want to save     the planet?"
Because that's where I keep all my stuff," she said.
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
9. Today, when I witnessed a 27-year-old breast cancer patient laughing     hysterically at her 2-year-old daughter's antics, I suddenly realized that,   
I need to stop complaining about my life and start celebrating it again.
----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
10.  Today, a boy in a wheelchair saw me desperately struggling on crutches     with my broken leg and offered to carry my backpack and books for me.  He     helped me all the way across campus to my class and as he was leaving he     said,
"I hope you feel better soon."
-----------------------   ------- -------   ------------------
11.   Today, I was feeling down because the results of a biopsy came back     malignant. When I got home, I opened an e-mail that said, "Thinking of you     today.   If you need me, I'm a phone call away."
It was from a high school       friend I hadn't seen in 10 years.
-----------------------   ------- -------   -------------------
12.   Today, I was traveling in Kenya and I met a refugee from Zimbabwe.    He     said he hadn't eaten anything in over 3 days and looked extremely skinny and     unhealthy.    Then my friend offered him the rest of the sandwich he       was     eating.
The first thing the man said was, "We can share it."
-----------------------   ------- -------   -------------------
The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Happy Hour / Old Farmer's Words of Wisdom
« on: November 17, 2018, 11:31:44 AM »
An old Farmer's Words of Wisdom we could all live by.......
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered....not yelled.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timin' has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply,
Speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.


Happy Hour / A Chicken Story--They are not Dumb
« on: November 16, 2018, 08:13:08 AM »
I was visiting with an old farmer friend and he was telling me of his experiences with one of his chickens.  It had broken its leg and was having trouble walking so he put a splint on its leg.  Standing in the chicken yard the chicken would come up to him and peck his boot.  He would then pick the chicken up and carry it to the feeder tray to eat.  This went on for several weeks.  The leg healed and the splint was removed with no impairment.   End of story.  No No The chicken continued to peck his boot to be carried to the feeding tray.  The chicken even tried it with his daughter and he instructed his daughter to take the chicken to the feeder tray.  The chicken remembered this and continued to peck feet to be carried to the feeder tray.


Happy Hour / Gunfighter rules
« on: November 11, 2018, 08:31:29 AM »
Gunfight Rules

 "Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading."

 In a gunfight, the most important rule is ... HAVE A GUN!!!

 These are shooting tips from various Concealed Carry Instructors.  If you own a gun, you will appreciate these rules... If not, you should get one, learn how to use it and learn the rules.


 A  Guns have only two enemies:  Rust and Politicians. Rust can be prevented, Politicians cannot.

 B  It's always better to be judged by 12 than carried out by 6.

 C  Cops carry guns to protect themselves, not you.

 D  Never let someone or something that threatens you get inside arm's length.

 E  Never say "I've got a gun."  If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they should hear is the safety clicking off, or the hammer cocking.

 F  The average response time of a 911 call is 23 minutes; the response time of a .357 is 1,400 feet per second.

 G  The most important rule in a gunfight is:  Always Win - there is no such thing as a fair fight.  Always Win - cheat if necessary.  Always Win - 2nd place doesn't count.

 H  Make your attacker advance through a wall of bullets ... you may get killed with your own gun, but they'll have to beat you to death with it because it will be empty.

 I  If you're in a gun fight:

    (a)  If you're not shooting, you should be loading.
    (b)  If you're not loading, you should be moving.
    (c)  If you're not moving, you're dead.
 J  In a life and death situation, do something ... it may be wrong, but do something!

 K  If you carry a gun, people will call you paranoid.  Nonsense!  If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?

L    Never fire a "warning shot", that is just one wasted bullet, which could be needed within moments.
 M  You can say "stop" or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone's head is pretty much a universal language; and, you won't have to press 1 for Spanish/Mexican, or 2 for Chinese, or 3 for Arabic.

 N  Never leave a wounded enemy behind.  If you have to shoot, shoot to kill.  In court, yours will be the only testimony.

 O  You cannot save the planet, but you may be able to save yourself and your family.

Happy Hour / The Lawyer
« on: November 08, 2018, 10:26:29 AM »
The Lawyer--
A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children   needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home.     But he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house.
When he said, he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they felt that the children would destroy the place.
He couldn't say he had no children, because he couldn't lie (as we all know, lawyers cannot, and do not lie).
So, he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 of their kids.
He took the remaining one with him to see rental homes with the real estate agent.
He loved one of the homes, and the price was right.
The agent asked:"How many children do you have?”
He answered: "Twelve."
The agent asked, "Where are the others?"
The lawyer, with his best courtroom sad look,  answered, “They're in the cemetery with their mother."

MORAL: It's not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words,  and don't forget, most politicians are lawyers.

« on: October 22, 2018, 08:45:47 PM »
Boudreaux called tonight and asked me to post that the 2018 Cajun Gardener Get Together for this Saturday has been Cancelled.  Missy is down in her back beyond go and his back isn't much better.  His Internet and home phone service is down again so he is not able to post on the Bayou Gardener.  If you have any question please PM me.


P. S.  If you need to speak with him his cell phone is working. ‪337 546 5712‬

Happy Hour / Sad incident of 6-month child Burning
« on: July 27, 2018, 11:32:22 AM »
Link to sad local incident of a 6-month old child being burned to death here in Natchitoches,  La.

What is this world coming to.  So sad.  Cute little boy.  Child was aledge getting too much attention from mother getting in the way of a lesbian couple.


Happy Hour / Some Beautiful and unusual scenes
« on: July 25, 2018, 01:13:27 PM »
Link to some beautiful and unusual scenes below:
Enjoy--you should find one or more you like.


General Discussion / Truck Load of fresh mulch
« on: June 07, 2018, 05:17:15 PM »
Where were they when I was physically able to garden.  I have not had a garden in 4 years.

I had to have some electrical line work trimming some trees and shrubs from my electrical entrance wires and was able to talk with he supervisor and get a full load of mulch from the cut up trees and shrubs.   I tried for years to get some dumped but never could get them to do so.

The load turned out to be a pile approximately  5'x10'x10'.  Even though I can no longer use it in my garden my wife and neighbor can use it in their flower beds.  My neighbor has a tractor with a FEL so it can easily be turned.  I'll put about 20# of ammonia nitrate and water it in and get him to turn it.  Next year we should have a good pile of plant-ready mulch.

A little late but still welcomed.

General Discussion / Simple Organic Preventing Tomato Blight--Video
« on: June 02, 2018, 09:28:16 AM »
Link  to interesting and simple method of organically preventing tomato blight:


Happy Hour / The year was 1955
« on: May 17, 2018, 05:27:49 PM »
THE YEAR WAS 1955... 

(if I didn't live through it, I wouldn't believe it myself)

Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging 7 cents just to mail a letter?         
If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00,  Nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store.             
When I first started driving, who would have thought Gas would someday cost 25 cents a gallon?  Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage.             
Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $50,000 a year just to play ball?  It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President.             
I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They're even making electric typewriters now.     
It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet.     
It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work.                                                                                                       
I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business.     
Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the government takes half our income in taxes. I   sometimes wonder if we are  electing the best people to government.       
The fast food restaurant is convenient for a quick meal, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on.     
There is no sense going on short trips any more for a weekend. It costs nearly $2.00 a night to stay in a hotel.     
No one can afford to be sick anymore.  At $15.00 a day in the hospital, it's too rich for my blood.             
If they think I'll pay 30 cents for a haircut, forget it.   


Happy Hour / How bout a smile today
« on: May 16, 2018, 10:11:42 AM »
To all who need a smile...

SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READS:  We will heel you, We will save your sole, We will even dye for you.


Sign over a Gynacologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:  "Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:  Yesterday's Meals on Wheels!

At an Optometrist's Office:  "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck:  "We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:  "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:  "Invite us to your next blow out."

On an Electrician's truck:  "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:  "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:  "Push. Push. Push."

At a Car Dealership:  "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:  "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:  "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:  "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time.
However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a Restaurant window:  "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:  "Drive carefully. We'll wait.."

At a Propane Filling Station:  "Thank Heaven for little grills."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:  "Best place in town to take a leak."

And the best one for last.....:Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises."

The Range / Dock / Latest Gun Murder rate per 100,000 citizens
« on: May 15, 2018, 10:50:46 PM »


From the World Health Organization

The latest Murder Statistics for the world:  Murders per 100,000 citizens per year.

DON'T GO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honduras 91.6 (WOW!!)     No wonder they want to come to the United States

El Salvador 69.2

Cote d'lvoire 56.9

Jamaica 52.2

Venezuela 45.1

Belize 41.4

US Virgin Islands 39.2

Guatemala 38.5

Saint Kitts and Nevis 38.2

Zambia 38.0

Uganda 36.3

Malawi 36.0

Lesotho 35.2

Trinidad and Tobago 35.2

Colombia 33.4

South Africa 31.8

Congo 30.8

Central African Republic 29.3

Bahamas 27.4

Puerto Rico 26.2

Saint Lucia 25.2

Dominican Republic 25.0

Tanzania 24.5

Sudan 24.2

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 22.9

Ethiopia 22.5

Guinea 22.5

Dominica 22.1

Burundi 21.7

Democratic Republic of the Congo 21.7

Panama 21.6

Brazil 21.0

Equatorial Guinea 20.7

Guinea-Bissau 20.2

Kenya 20.1

Kyrgyzstan 20.1

Cameroon 19.7

Montserrat 19.7

Greenland 19.2

Angola 19.0

Guyana 18.6

Burkina Faso 18.0

Eritrea 17.8

Namibia 17.2

Rwanda 17.1

Mexico 16.9

Chad 15.8

Ghana 15.7

Ecuador 15.2

North Korea 15.2

Benin 15.1

Sierra Leone 14.9

Mauritania 14.7

Botswana 14.5

Zimbabwe 14.3

Gabon 13.8

Nicaragua 13.6

French Guiana 13.3

Papua New Guinea 13.0

Swaziland 12.9

Bermuda 12.3

Comoros 12.2

Nigeria 12.2

Cape Verde 11.6

Grenada 11.5

Paraguay 11.5

Barbados 11.3

Togo 10.9

Gambia 10.8

Peru 10.8

Myanmar 10.2

Russia 10.2

Liberia 10.1

Costa Rica 10.0

Nauru 9.8

Bolivia 8.9

Mozambique 8.8

Kazakhstan 8.8

Senegal 8.7

Turks and Caicos Islands 8.7

Mongolia 8.7

British Virgin Islands 8.6

Cayman Islands 8.4

Seychelles 8.3

Madagascar 8.1

Indonesia 8.1

Mali 8.0

Pakistan 7.8

Moldova 7.5

Kiribati 7.3

Guadeloupe 7.0

Haiti 6.9

Timor-Leste 6.9

Anguilla 6.8

Antigua and Barbuda 6.8

Lithuania 6.6

Uruguay 5.9

Philippines 5.4

Ukraine 5.2

Estonia 5.2

Cuba 5.0

Belarus 4.9

Thailand 4.8

Suriname 4.6

Laos 4.6

Georgia 4.3

Martinique 4.2

And ..........The United States 4.2


ALL (109) of the countries above America, HAVE 100% gun bans.

It might be of interest to note that SWITZERLAND is not shown on this list, because it has... NO MURDER OCCURRENCE!

However, SWITZERLAND 'S law requires that  EVERYONE:

1. Own a gun.

2. Maintain Marksman qualifications ... regularly .

Did you learn anything from this??

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